Retro Purity Test

By philosophygirl (not affiliated w retro)

This is not a bucket list. Completion of all items will result in Nathan & Ryan side eyeing you bombastically.

Click on every item you have done.

Taken a pic and said it’s for retro
Gotten username of choice first try
Posted your cat
Posted someone else’s cat
Tried to get a family member on retro
Have any family member friended on retro
Have any of your friend’s family members friended on retro
Have any retro team member friended
Have either cofounder (nathan or ryan) friended
Stared yearningly at either cofounder’s profile, longing to add them but afraid of coming off as weird..pining.........
Met any member of retro team irl
Met either cofounder
Went on a date w any member of retro team
Posted 2 digit week (e.g. ten posts in that week)
Posted 3 digit week (e.g. a hundred posts in that week)
Referred 5+ people
Referred 10+ people
Spent money on retro
Received free premium via nepo baby maneuvers
Sent a postcard
Received a postcard
50+ weeks posted
100+ weeks posted
10+ friends added
50+ friends
100+ friends
Have paused an irl convo to post on retro
Have whipped out your phone mid-convo to show someone something on retro
Referred to people irl by their retro username
Tried to do something retro law bans (e.g. post longer than 1min video or gifs in comments)
Circumvented this (e.g. posted the entire bee movie on retro)
Received 10+ keys
Given 10+ keys
Added someone on retro bc their pfp looked fine shyt
Someone recognized u from ur retro username
Changed the timestamp of an image so it would post in a certain order on your retro week
Edited the location of a post on retro
Met a stranger off of retro
Used the repost feature
Nagged your friend to tag you so you could use the repost feature
Last-minute stress posted Sunday night to get pics in before the week ends
Banged someone on your retro
Dated someone on your retro
Been in a situationship with someone on your retro
Banged 5+ people on ur retro
Dated 5+ people on ur retro
Found love bc of retro
Have your crush added on retro (ask them out, you coward)
In a retro group chat (like on the app)
DMed someone on retro asking them out (lowkenuinely bro if you don’t have their number, it might be for a reason)
Been asked out via retro DMs
Private replied to someone’s post
Gotten ghosted via retro DMs
Created an album on retro
Created an album and shared with friends on retro
Forced your friends to post photos from the event/trip in a retro album
Attached an NFC chip to your retro
Posted a recap on another platform (e.g. ig)
Done an activity or sidequest specifically so u could post it on retro
Did an irl thing due to a retro post (e.g., show up to your friend’s house after seeing that they baked cookies)
Retro screen time per week >1 hour
Retro screen time per week >5 hours
Someone in the wild asked for your retro
Put a retro sticker on an object (e.g. laptop/water bottle)
In possession of retro clothing merch (shoutout Cheryl)
Made a comment specifically just to likefarm
Ratioed a friend
Ratioed Kent
Opened retro after sex
Used retro during sex
Experienced your partner opening retro after sex
Followed by THE retro account on any platform
Muted someone on retro
Blocked someone on retro
Added someone because they have a cool user
DMed someone because they have a cool user
Posted a thirst trap on retro
Someone else posted a thirst trap of you on retro
Flirted via retro comment section
Posted your address on retro
Posted an AI-generated image on retro
Unironically announced “this will go hard on retro” mid-experience
Soft-launched on retro
Hard launched on retro
Submitted a feature request/bug
Received a customer support email with a suspicious amount of em dashes and repetitive sentence structure
Left a rating waxing lyrical about how much you love retro
Opened retro with no intention, just pure muscle memory
Commented on someone’s post while actively hanging out with them
Checked retro in the bathroom at a social function
Posted from the bathroom at a function
Opened retro during a date
Checked retro during a wedding
Checked retro during a funeral
Thought about retro during your own meaningful life moment (e.g. graduation)
Scrolled back to the very first week of a new friend’s profile after being given a key
Took advantage of the no-word limit in captions to write a multi-essay entry
Posted a specific activity/outfit with solely one person seeing it in mind
Witnessed that one brainrot comment section on Kent’s profile that JUST KEPT GOING
Documented an illegal activity on retro